Saturday, October 13, 2012

Open letter to any orbiting aliens

Should any aliens be observing this planet, and you happen to pick up on this digital smoke signal, please feel free to abduct me.  I mean it; really, I’ve had some tough times lately, and could use the break from reality.  And don’t worry, I won’t resist or try and put your picture up on Facebook.  I promise.  I’ll be a good little specimen. 

Feel free to prod, study and probe (with discretion and a safe word, of course).  I know you gotta get something out of the deal.  I don’t mind answering questions, submitting bodily samples (within reason), or even being subjected to a little torture in the name of behavioral study.  I’m not a sadist—and would prefer to just hang out and bond, maybe share some stories, tell a few jokes—but I understand the call of science. I’m sure you gotta obtain some data in order to justify the expense of an abduction.  I only ask that you keep the torture and experimentation to a non-lethal level.  After my visit (vacation), I'd like to return to earth someday. Whatever you do, please don’t lock me in a small box with Cher to study human behavioral activity.  If by chance, that happens to be on the abduction agenda, well, unfortunately, that would be a deal breaker for me. 

In closing, Mr. orbiting Alien, if you happen to be listening, I would be honored if you’d consider me for your abduction program.   Keep in mind, I’m a scientist, relatively fit, a writer, and have plenty of life experience to share with you or download into your mind melder. I think I’d be the perfect candidate.  And, like I said, I could really use a break from this place right now.  Hope to hear from you soon.

Oh, BTW, can you have me back by Christmas?

Monday, February 6, 2012

New Website

To all friends and followers and those arriving by chance.  We have relocated to new digs.  Should you be so inclined, please swing over and have a look.  As always, thank you for your support!