you might be a writer...

To be read like Jeff Foxworthy’s – “You Might be a Redneck”


If Wikipedia is higher on your favorites list than your favorite adult website…you might be a writer

If you stare at clouds in search of inspiration far too long…you might be a writer

If you select your doctors because they have Writer’s Digest in the magazine rack…you might be a writer

If you read your Facebook page merely to study human behavior…you might be a writer

If you catch your girlfriend having sex with Cormac McCarthy and all you can think is when’s he gonna finish so I can get his autograph…you might be a writer

If you are sometimes hesitant to even refer to yourself as a writer…you might be a writer

If you have a stack of old scribble filled notebooks taller than the health care bill…you might be a writer

If you ride the bus or subway just so you can study weird characters…you might be a writer

If you almost always know the ending of a movie midway through…you might be a writer

If you think Scrabble should be an Olympic event...you might be a writer

If you have an old thesaurus that looks like it’s been through a John Deere threshing machine…you might be a writer

If you start to get genuine withdrawal DT’s when your laptop is in the shop for more than a day…you might be a writer

If you’d do more to learn a neat new word than you would for a Klondike bar…you might be a writer

If the word rewrite brings you a tinge of panic…you might be a writer

If you’d rather be writing even more than you’d rather be fishing right now…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever searched through the phone book to find the perfect name for a fictional character…you might be a writer

If you’ve put off sex because you needed to finish reading one more chapter of that new novel you just bought…you might be a writer

If you sometimes dream in words instead of pictures...you might be a writer

If you can wallpaper a small cathedral with rejection letters from agents and publishers…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever stalked a literary agent…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever spent an entire vacation in Wi-Fi café…you might be a writer

If a beautiful woman with a short skirt struts by and all you can think about is how you can cleverly describe her legs in poetry or prose…you might be a writer

If you’ve considered divorce when your wife throws out your copy of Writer’s Digest before you finished reading it…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever scribbled a great idea for a plot down on the dashboard of your car while driving on the freeway…you might be a writer

If you consider Starbuck’s coffee to be one of the four main food groups…you might be a writer

If you’d rather be in Barnes and Noble than in Vegas…you might be a writer

If you are genuinely perplexed why network television has yet to come out with a show called American Writer Idol…you might be a writer

If you’ve just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever asked a cop to toss you in jail for a few days because you want that prison scene in your new novel to be perfectly genuine...you might be a writer (but if you’re in jail for incest, poaching or stealing a pack of Chicklets to fill in your missing teeth before that date with your cousin…you might be a red-neck)

If you are on the NSA’s watch list due to all the unusual Google searches you’ve done…you might be a writeer

If you are over thirty and you still live in your parent’s basement…you might be a writer

If you feel that Hallmark should make a sympathy card to send to friends suffering from writers block…you might be a writer

If you take vacations to areas you think would be a great setting for a future novel…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever referred to a west coast sunset as a red-hot ingot meting thru an infinite blue block of Pacific paraffin…you might be a writer

If you can think of at least three more of these without even thinking…you might be a writer

If your written words have ever brought someone joy, tears, rage, or a smile…you might be a writer

If you’ve ever dreamed that you could change the world...you might be a writeer

If you wasted your time reading this entire thread…you might be a writer

or you might just be insane! (which in and of itself would mean…you might be a writer!)